What should I say to THIS?

10.15.2003 at 6:40 p.m.

I have a problem, that I don't know how to approach... let alone "resolve."

A while back I found something on my computer... porn. And not just "porn" - but a very specific type of porn that... to put it lightly seriously disturbed me to find on my computer. To find that my husband had been looking at, and therefore that is why it was on my computer. He played dumb... and I basically let it go. So there is your "back ground."

Monday evening I told my husband to watch the baby while I got in the shower. When I came out of the shower, I poked my head out of the door, and saw my husband clearing out the history in the computer. And I could just tell... I "caught" him... but he insisted the BABY hit the keys on the keyboard that brought up the history screen, and he just took advantage.

Now, that night he did apparently everything in his power to wipe the computer clean... ran the disk defragment, the "heavy duty" scan disk and everything. I guess there are a few "back doors" I still know about though that he does not.

I got curious. He is not so good at lying to me anymore, and I could tell he was full of shit and had been to some sort of site he did not want me to know about... and there it is. Loads of it. Not just any porn... which I would almost excuse and ignore because he seems so "hard up" these days because we have not had sex in a while... but that same disturbing shit I found before. I don't even want to go into the details of what exactly it is... it's embarrassing. It is something a married man should not be interested in seeing.

I don't know how to approach this. He will just get defensive, or come up with some sort of lame excuse. But I'm very, very disturbed by this.

I just really, really don't know what to do. AND, I'm also pissed because instead of spending rare quality time with his baby girl... while she crawled around on the floor behind him he was getting his "kicks" looking at this nasty, disgusting shit??

What do I do here?

Heard in my house:

Something Extra:

Feeling:

Craving: