Her Memorial Service

01.10.2006 at 4:33 p.m.

Hi there.

So much has happened since my last entry... yet I do not even know where to start in talking about it all.

Her service on Thursday was beautiful. There were just so many people there. She was, and is just so loved... and always will be. The flowers are now scattered about my house.. some are beginning to fold under... and in a way I look forward to placing them out for the trash, and in others... I just don't. I still have this longing feeling inside me... this feeling that this just was NOT supposed to have happened yet. I mean, we knew it was coming. We knew it was coming closer and closer... but I suppose nothing can really make you ready.

I will upload pictures to my buzznet page of the flowers... they truly are beautiful. And below is the statement my husband made, after the service, when everyone had a chance to speak. It really moved everyone... he was not sure he would be able to get up there and say it... but he did. And he did a wonderful job. The service was in a very similar format to the one we had for his father in July... (text of it is here.) But what my husband said... was really wonderful.

"In quietness and confidence shall be your strength"... Isaiah 30:15

I can't believe I'm here doing this again...so soon...
I don't want this to be a sad occasion, as Mom wouldn't want that at all....
Even though a part of me died with her, what has been left behind is the most powerful gift any son could receive from a mother whom he adored and loved and who adored and loved him as well.

My Mother was the most beautiful human being I knew.
My best friend....
My confidante...
My conscience�
My Heart�

The ever-calming eye within the constant storm that we call life...
She was a kind woman who was blunt and maybe too realistic at times yet she always saw the silver lining to everyone else's storm clouds...

My Mother always knocked some sense into me when I started to follow delusions of grandeur, but that's what a Mother is for, right?

She was my Rock. My truest strength that I am going to miss.

She somehow held together one of the most unusual and unique families I have ever seen yet she did it with grace for the most part and at times it was humorous, and other times, quite serious yet she was always consistent.

For those who knew my Mother, I can say with pride how much I see her spirit alive all around in so many ways. From the beautiful qualities she pointed out to me in everyday little things to the beautiful eyes and smiles in her 5 precious grandchildren: [nephew's name omitted], Amanda, [niece's name omitted], Jillian and Aidan.
My Mother gave me sensitivity, love, the gift of giving oneself to others, a sense of humor, kindness, a deep spiritual insight into why we are here as well as why bad things happen to good people (a Book that she gave to me written by a Rabbi when I was deeply depressed as a young teen).
She was my source of consolation when my grandmother passed away when I was 13. Regardless of how grief stricken she was, she made sure to talk openly with me and console me with every bit of strength she could muster.

My mother is the reason I love Baseball and the NY Yankees even though she was a diehard Met's fan.
She was the person who started me in baseball and little league and attended all my games.
She didn't have to, she wanted to....

(I have realized that at a time in everyone's ' lives.., the parent and child reverse roles....Nobody can ever mentally prepare for that yet I feel that instinct takes over and we are blessed for that gift...
We must never forget where we came from....
We must never forget to be THANKFUL on a daily basis..
Life has its' way of balancing things out....
Life is extremely fragile and the bridge we all walk upon in life can suddenly collapse and we must be prepared...mentally...physically.... and spiritually...no doubt.

I could stand here and literally talk of thousands of wonderful memories and still leave so many out. The point is....
My Mother is someone I was Very Proud of..
Someone I Loved. Very much...
My Inspiration...My Joy.... My Heart...My Soul...
I will miss you Mom.... very much....
Anyone who says, "He's a mama's boy" in a mocking fashion to you???
Go ahead an tell them Yes I am and thank you...