Comments:

Kaire - 2004-08-18 12:50:59
I understand you love him in some way still, but honestly, YOU deserve better. If you were my best friend I'd have a hard time not encouraging you constantly to go it on your own. You just don't deserve the cavalier attitude about banging bimbos! (among other things!)
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Amineh - 2004-08-18 16:40:54
i agree with the other comment. you deserve better.
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Desiree - 2004-08-18 21:07:15
I'm glad your trip went well
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candoor - 2004-08-19 14:28:59
hug for you, wake up slap for him, then a hug and hope that whatever it was that is inside of him that you fell in love with wakes up again...
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shdw_cat - 2004-08-20 00:54:49
i agree w/ the first comment. :(
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Andrew (Lisa's husband) - 2004-08-20 23:31:12
to all the miserable undersexed, overmiserable cows out there: there are 2 sides to every story. If you have issue , before passing judgement and encouraging my family to be torn apart, inquire a bit more. Y'all have WAY too much time on your hands , so you just sit on your fat asses while your husbands' work to provide for you and all u do is bitch and moan. Worry about your own Lives before passing critical judgement. Thanks, I welcome any and all emails.
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Employed - 2004-08-21 18:13:11
Wow. Sounds like they might have touched a nerve. Don't flip out - you guys are the ones that constantly air your dirty laundry on here and then keep a guestbook that welcomes comments. Sounds like you would have less of a problem with their comments if you would simply keep your "little man" where he belongs and stop making excuses for his misjudgements.
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Liza - 2004-08-21 20:00:27
That whole conversation between your husband and someone who appears to be a friend of yours(?) makes me want to load up on some guns and start asking questions later. And then, after reading that comment from your husband? Ouch. I read here but don't comment much. I have to say, though, that the conversation in this entry really doesn't sound like he's trying to keep the family all that together, if you ask me, which, of course, no one did. But I would say that I don't think it's us trying to tear you guys apart. How many times has he cheated on you? How many kids do you have? Really. If he were that interested in keeping your family together, perhaps he shouldn't bitch about your to your friends. I just know that I personally deserve better than what he's offering you. What you choose to accept is your business. But I would consider my options, were I you. Because you do have them.
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sanetwin - 2004-08-22 13:28:34
Oh please, the comment by Andrew was ridiculous. I've been reading for a bit now, and this is the first time I've left a note. Yes, you DO deserve better. Life isn't all about dirty fucking cups and who did what portion of the housework. That isn't what a marriage is about and should never ever be what it's about. Andrew, get the fuck over yourself. First of all, I'm NOT sitting on my unemployed ass while my husband takes care of me. The worthless ass cheated on me and I LEFT HIM. I'm now supporting my daughter and going back to college. I am too good to be trampled on my something that thinks because it has a dick it should be treated like a god. I'm sorry, but before YOU start throwing around judgemental comments toward people that are merely offering support to your wife, think about your behavior. She deserves supporting comments. YOU are getting them from her friends. Why should she not be allowed to get them here, on her diary?
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anna - 2004-08-23 12:29:45
before loading up on guns, has anyone stopped to think what's it's like to be in the friends position. That person maybe stuck in the middle hearing two very different sides to stories. It may be hell on the friend too, maybe that friend whats too see the relationship work cause that person KNOWS they love eachother.
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anna - 2004-08-23 12:29:56
before loading up on guns, has anyone stopped to think what's it's like to be in the friends position. That person maybe stuck in the middle hearing two very different sides to stories. It may be hell on the friend too, maybe that friend whats too see the relationship work cause that person KNOWS they love eachother.
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First Timer - 2004-08-23 18:32:29
Well Anna since you ask: The friend is part of the problem not the solution. I know this sounds judgmental but what the hell kind of friend allows her friends husband to say such negative things? I don think the friend is mean - just stupid. We all have seen someone we know leave the beautiful wife for the ugly fat chick down the road. And everyone is soooo damn shocked. Ugly fat chick down the road gave hubby a shoulder to cry on and told him how pitiful he was and how great he was and how much his wife just didn't appreciate him. Men are simple creators. They need admiration and sex - not cups off the desk. Andrew grow up buddy - Your neglecting your wife - your a rotten husband , passive aggressive and immature. Spend some time building her up not wasting your time tearing her down to her (so called) friends. Your only going to get out of her what you put in stupid. Lisa - Unless you want to throw Andrew away to the ugly fat chick down the road wise up to what he needs. Trust me when you do, he will no longer give a shit about cup. Build him up dont tear him down.
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Beetilda - 2004-08-24 06:06:00
I say, sounds like you've both got into a rather sticky patch! The husband sounds rather defensive and insecure, the wife sounds a bit put-upon. (This is my first read, so I can't really say for certain what is going on.) I'd guess by the husband's writing that you are located in the more southern area of the USA, or perhaps the western part. These areas sometimes stereotypically cast the woman in a more subservient position. Not conducive to sweetness and light!! However, you are married, you have children---surely the love must be there. Might you be able to find a trained professional to help you work things out? And if the husband doesn't want to find his coffee mug on his desk, might I suggest not leaving it there? Yes, this is a simplistic post, ignorant in its own way as I haven't got the facts or anything. But parents of young children are going through an almost superhumanly demanding time, and need all the love and help and understanding that they can get. Both of the parents! Lots of good luck to you!
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Andrew (Lisa's husband) - 2004-08-24 08:44:52
Hello..... Ok....ladies.. the issue is this... I have been married for 6 years..yes i screwed up, no hiding that... we have 2 children..... I'm an assshole by nature, i work hard though....to provide for my family. yes, the intimacfy and love between the husband and wife is VERY significant and we are working on it. Yes, this is an online diary and yes, she does not lock it. Actually, its a good way for Lisa to "express" herself to me. She is a far better writer and talker.... The people out there who condemn with out thinking..those are the ones that piss me off.. like Kaire, Amineh andf shadow_cat, whoever these people are. Think before you speak out of your ass. Thanks and love to all. A
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Kaire - 2004-08-24 12:16:06
Andrew, I thought long and hard. I think you are the one who needs to get his head out of his ass. I am a college educated, long term employeed woman who quite frankly would have walked out on your ass a long time ago. You want people to say "oh so he has fucked around, no biggie!" but that's not going to happen with me. If your wife was my best friend I'd rather her hate me then spend her life waiting for the next time you screw around. As you said you are an asshole by nature. Your immature lashing out at our lives proves just how self centered you are. How would you feel if she was the one screwing around on you? As for all of us wanting your family ripped apart, maybe you better stop the ripping. After all, our actions are not what is causing the problems~
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Des - 2004-08-24 17:39:54
the thing that upset me the most about Andrew's first comment is this...ummm...are YOU sitting on your "fat ass" at home while your husband "supports" you? He seemed to be attacking YOU there...do YOU have too much time on your hands to be writing in a journal and reading ours? It just seemed like a backwards slap in the face to you. I don't care what he says about me, or any of your readers....it is natural to lash out when the truth hits too hard to home...but his words were disrespectful to you, his wife, His "love".
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Bailie - 2004-08-25 17:46:48
oh my lord, lock the diary to so only friends can read because letting the whole world see your drama and having everyone take shots at your husband is not going to make your marriage any better. this is your form of expression, great but these judgemental dumbasses don't need to read it. seriously, get your own lives and stop trying to concil. leave them be to their own marriage.
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Lisa - 2004-08-25 17:51:29
Bailie, and anyone else whom may be interested... this diary will never become a locked diary. I would be better off to just stop writing, rather than to lock up the diary, the entire point would be lost. This diary is here for me, to give me a place to vent, to give me a place to hear what others think of my situation, and that will NOT change. Thanks for the suggestion, but it is against the entire point of why I write.
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candora - 2004-08-25 20:18:50
there is something amazing about all this, more amazing if it is given credibility (I mean, not read as a fictional soap opera... that is not mean to suggest it is, it is just accepting the fact that written words online can easily be fiction and presenting them as a real-to-life diary can give the story a more powerful read)... I do not know enough to offer any meaningful opinions and I am not here to judge, but I hope honesty prevails over the anger and hurt and betrayals and distractions in the end... I can understand that writing is a cathartic and thought/emotion organizing experience... and writing for feedback, like here publically, can be a wonderful way to get suggestions and read other perspectives on things that can be challenging to see clearly because you are 'too close' to the situation... on the other hand, this can easily offer distractions from the real issues as other people can make snap judgements and incite negative emotions (frustration, anger) that are unnecessary and detrimental to your private one-on-one sharings... if you can read this and all words without feeling judged or threatened, then I think there's benefit in the open sharing and feedback, but the feedback can become part of the conflict and that might not help at all... remember we are relative strangers reading and writing words and we do not know all the facts through experience, so our words can be helpful suggestions, but should not be taken as serious judgments or facts to base your decisions upon... personally, while I might (and do) write publically about anything in my life, I would probably seek a real-life third party arbitrator, maybe even an experienced professional to offer mediation and guidance and facilitation in your one-on-one communications with each other... if you think change in behavior and perspective is necessary, go there, actively work on that, and get whatever help you need to do what needs to be done... get to the 'why' behind what happened and resolve any dissatisfactions with each other that can be resolved... ultimately, if staying together in a healthy relationship is the goal, complete forgiveness or self and each other and rebuilding trust is the only answer and nobody outside of you two can do that... in the end, these are just my opinions, yours matter most...
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Andrew (Lisa's husband) - 2004-08-25 22:32:00
I love all the replies. I still stand my ground tho. You all are so easy to tell my wife to leave me. You all think that's the solution because you probably are in denail for your own marriages/relationships. I can Guarntee that EVERY one of your loving hubbys are with thier buddies oogling over all the meat they see daily and u know the old saying "men are only as loyal as their options"...So before you condemn me, you all cast the first stone. I bet most of you are miserable in your own lives thus finding it so easy to give advice and condemn me when in fact, NONE of you know me. Thanks A
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Des - 2004-08-25 23:56:40
Lisa, I think I won't be leaving too many comments from here on out...but I do need to say this...I enjoy reading you because you are so vulnerable and real in the words that you write...but I read the things your husband posts and I can't help but form opinions about him from his words. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to read his latest note and I have to say that if he truly feels 'ALL' men prescribe to his way of thinking...he's wrong. I may not be able to trust MY husband...but there are many good, loyal, faithful, adoring husbands out there. Many men walk away from temptation on a daily basis...but it is easier for him to down grade all men to his level...it makes it easier not to take responsibility for his actions. I'm sorry you guys have had the problems you have...sorry that you have the problems you do...and truly, I feel so badly for YOU personally in this situation. It's not easy. Good luck in all you do and the choices you make.
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Betty - 2004-08-26 00:29:40
Oh please, Andrew. Your comments are only attacks. You are just being judgemental, harsh, rude, and arrogant. HELLO, let me cast the first stone. I would love to stone cheating asshole husbands to death. Or better yet, divorce them.. . oh wait. I did that.
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Kaire - 2004-08-26 10:47:56
Andrew, I thank GOD I don't know you. The more you spout off the more fond I get of the tape worm that my cat passed out his ass last night. Men look. Women look too. Only assholes act on it.
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Sandi - 2004-10-16 19:28:28
What an Asshat
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PUBLIUS - 2004-11-18 00:18:52
Its like friggin judgement day here.
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