Comments:

Pandionna - 2004-09-20 13:48:39
Hard to say. I don't know him like you do. But generally, when people react like that, I remember two things. First, it's their problem. Second, no one can make anything better for them but them. I'm sure he knows he's overweight. He must be struggling with it, or he wouldn't be so defensive. Maybe one day he won't confuse your intent with malice. Nothing you can do in the meantime.
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Karen - 2004-09-20 13:57:06
I'd say leave him alone. He knows he is obese. Not a single fat person doesn't know they are fat. You pointing it out only offended him and obviously alienated him. Especially when he feels you are criticising him and have no room to with the state your own life is in (ie, your marriage & cheating.) The only thing you might do is email him apologizing if you angered him and telling him that no matter what you love him. Beyond that, let him take it from there. You can't change him, he has to change himself.
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Ug - 2004-09-20 17:46:18
Well, coming from an overweight person who is sometimes skinny - I would say, leave it alone. My husband never mentions ANYTHING about my weight when it is up, but if he even HINTS at it, I am offended and I just want to run to the fridge and eat some ice cream. I know you make fun of fat girls, etc, I read a comment somewhere here. But, I am hoping that in this instance, you will listen to a sometimes-fat-girl. You can't SAY anything unless he asks for an opinion. Its like telling a smoker that smoking is bad for you. Its like, DUH. Like, you get offended, I'm sure, if Lisa brings up your infidelities. You KNOW already it was wrong, you KNOW they will injure your marriage, and YOU want to deal with it - you don't want anyone to just call you up and tell you how you need to buck up and steer straight because they care about you, and dont want you to die a lonely old man who never sees his kids. THese are all just comparisons - but I hope you get the point. I would say just leave it alone, never bring it up again. If you truly want to be a support system, be a good listener and when he boasts about his accomplishments, health-wise, then tell him you are proud. period.
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