Comments:

Kaire - 2005-12-20 11:15:17
How can you not feel badly when the message he's giving you is "I matter, you do not!" ?? You aren't putting him in a bad light, his own actions are. If my significant other didn't bother with a present for me and all he had to do was click his mouse, I'd be beyond hurt as well. Hopefully he's just pretending on that?? Hopefully you can get the medical attention you need for your depression soon. That's no way to live.
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gb - 2005-12-20 17:10:33
Honestly, I get what you're saying but why can't you go see the doctor during the day? Yes, you have the kids to look after but if this is that important to you, you will make it happen. Take them with you or find someone to look after them. And you've already said you aren't comfortable leaving your kids with someone, then find a day care that can watch them for a couple hours. You need to do this for yourself. I understand and always love a good pity party but after the pity party you must move on and make things happen. Okay, so your husband can't ever get home in time for you to get to the doctor. What are your other options? And don't tell me or yourself there aren't any because there always are. ALSO, that sucks your husband hasn't done anything yet BUT he is the bread winner in the house so I can see why you end up doing most of the shopping on your own, isn't that what stay at home mom's are supposed to do?? However he better get his ass out there and get you something for christmas because that is DEFINITELY his responsibility (althouh on occassion my mom has just bought her own gift and handed it to my dad to wrap... but only cuz she wanted to make sure she got exactly what she wanted, lol). There are still a few more days til christmas, I'm crossing my fingers he gets himself to the store for you. And I'm sorry if the first part sounds harsh but sometimes we need someone to give us a push before we can help ourselves.
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Lisa - 2005-12-20 17:32:25
I don't have a car to GO to the doctor on my own. I certainly could not take them in a taxi. I will not let any every day baby sitter watch my children, let alone a daycare. I do trust my mother - but she has a job. I have written what I have because I needed to get it out - not to have you attack me. Yes, if something needs to be done, I MAKE it happen - currently I am quite trapped. I appreciate your concern, but you make things sound much more simple than they are. And you "isn't that what stay at home mother's are" comment was just tacky. I don't want to attack you, especially if you were trying to help me... but did you READ the entry. All I want right now, is to feel like I am being looked out for. Like I am not in this all on my own.
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almostnormal - 2005-12-20 21:10:26
It's difficult. You spend all this time becoming the foundation of the family, and then you cry out in the night for a hug and find that everyone is so used to *being* hugged that they've kind of forgotten how to hug you. (Hug is an analogy, work with me, I have brain fog) I'm experiencing that. My hubby says he's soooo sorry that I work so hard and that I'm in so much pain and that I cry all the time...but then he promptly forgets I've said anything and watches wrestling (or hangs up the phone and goes back to work.) Even though they work long days, they don't understand what it's like to never have the day END like theirs does. It's like we've forgotten HOW to relax because there's always something else that has to get done. Sorry you don't still live in IL, I'd drop you off at the Dr and hang with your kids. Then again, things weren't that great in IL for you so I'm also glad you don't live in IL anymore. I mentioned I have brain fog, right? Sorry for the ramble.
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second-love - 2005-12-20 23:19:58
*sigh*... something i discovered after marrying my 2nd hubby is what care and marriage is about. BUT... it didnt happen right away. The first 5 years... maybe even 10 years werent "great". He had alot of selfish years that i now call his "young years". Its the years where they work and work - they have a wife and small kids at home... and they have a built-in mentality that they are working so "hard" that should be enough for their wife and family. They dont even do it maliciously - its just immaturity. After awhile, and if the marriage has survived this period, MANY men (if they are mature enough to want to grow and be better...)come to realize that their spouse has been the one there holding it all together while they "lived". YES, they have tons of responsibilities and YES they work hard... but as women we are ALL those things from the day we say "i do" and have kids. I wish i could say for sure your hubby will get a clue... i know mine did and quite honestly i have never felt more love and more care from mine than since he past the "40" mark and suddenly realized he is not "forever young", "forever HOT" or "forever 'all that'"...We truly work now as a team - and his consideration of me is amazing. Feel better hon *hugs*
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Jenn - 2005-12-21 07:44:41
Wow. I always love it when people leave such judgmental comments. People are so presumptuous....

And. Hasn't your husband done PLENTY of stuff in your marriage where he only thought of HIMSELF? I think it's terrible that he's not gotten you a thing. How would he be feeling if it were reversed?

Also, everyone needs to get out of the house sometimes. Being stuck at home without a car is absolutely NOT fun. If I were near you, I'd watch the kids so you could get to the doctor. I'm sorry. Men can be very insensitive sometimes. ♥
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warcrygirl - 2005-12-22 13:21:28
My Husband does the same thing. He also thinks that since I'm home all day that everything should be my responsibility, including taking an 80 dog to the vet only months after having a C-section AND toting around a 3 year old. I tried the babysitter route and I couldn't find anyone who could sit for me; either they worked all day or they had two or three kids of their own. I suggest networking; I have three friends now who we swap babysitting duties for things like doctor or hair appts. Yes, there is light and the end of the tunnel and no, it is NOT a train.
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fightn4life - 2005-12-22 16:31:17
This is your little place you can let it all out, say what you feel, and cry if you want to. The holidays are a time we at times feel alone, I recall having everything dropped in my lap and wanting to feel special myself once and awhile. Rather you are a stay at home mom or out in the work force our lives still should be shared by those who chose to be our partners. I was a working mom; I regret it as I lost too much time with my children. My youngest daughter is a stay at home mom raising three boys. I believe her "job" is harder than mine was as she is at times stuck at home and all of us needs some me time. If I was to hear her hubby left her alone to do all I had to do during my younger days I would drive to Florida and kick his butt. Your pity party is more than deserved, talk to hubby and let him know how alone being at home can be at times. I pray he does something wonderful for you for Christmas; you are special and deserve to be treated as such. There had better be some awesome gifts for you under that tree. :) Sandyz
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