Can't say THAT out loud

03.04.2003 at 1:17 p.m.

This morning he says to me "Yeah, I really did not like your hair when it was red." So I said - Then why didn't you tell me that? He said he did... I guess I didn't notice...

*I guess you only like your fuck buddies to have red hair, huh?* - Oops, no, don't want to say THAT out loud, that would not be good.

No, I'm trying to surpress the rage, I mean, it has been months (sorta) since he was ACTUALLY fucking around - physically... and he says he is committed to me now. *I guess we will see.* But I have made my choices... I AM GOING to believe him. I WANT to believe him. I know that if years from now he screws around again, I will have been a fool - but it is a risk I am willing to take. He IS the love of my life, and I can't let that slip away, without giving him a second chance (oh, wait, this is his third - maybe fourth chance) But who's counting, right?

It is, however, his last chance.

Heard in my house:

Something Extra:

Feeling:

Craving: