A follow up to my last entry.
06.13.2003 at 5:30 p.m.
Ok, so, he clarified some things for me that were really bugging me... and I feel a lot better now. I hope he was sincere in his explanations, but all I can do is take him at his word, and I will. He seemed truly amazed by my diary too - and that made (and makes) me feel good. I could have sworn he knew about it before... but I guess I was wrong. I almost wish I would have told him about it sooner... the things we have talked about in the past couple of hours have made me feel even closer to him, and that is always a plus.
He even stumped me. Truly stumped me on something he said (though briefly) I was lost for words momentarily nonetheless. When I expressed my aggravations of him needing to be so secretive he said "isn't that what diaries are...?" - Duh... What could I say to that? He was right - I mean... someone says "Diary" and my head instantly pops to this mental image of a cute little LOCKED book with a pen dangling from a string stuffed between someone's mattresses - or under a magazine in a night table. Yes, "diaries" are typically secret. Since that moment I have regained my composure and found the answer to his question - it's that he has been letting whoever else in the rest of the world into it BUT me. Hopefully that makes sense. It does to me anyway...
So, he has asked me to keep writing. I plan to. The only reason I had stopped is because I have been so busy anyway, but I know it is important to make time. It is a wonderful release to be able to write like this. And to my surprise he said he was going to keep writing too, and that he wanted me to read it. That he was "relieved" he could now share it with me. I just hope from the depths of my soul that he will still REALLY write. The things he means to, and not censor it because I may see it.
That's all for now - but I will be back tomorrow... or maybe not until Monday. But I feel a lot better now.
Heard in my house:
Something Extra:
Feeling:
Craving:
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