Crappy moment

01.20.2005 at 2:58 p.m.

I have just had a really crappy couple of days. Well... yesterday had a lot of crappy moments (though of course some good points)... and so far today is not looking so hot either. I hope things turn around though... I really do.

And the day started SO early, so it is just dragging on. Though I never really wish for any days to go by faster than they naturally do because I enjoy every moment I can get with my angels... today, though... has already been a long day... and it is not even 11 am yet. My baby boy decided to wake up at 5 am this morning. Normally, the earliest he gets up is at 7 am. So.. my body is a little extra tired... what is he doing now? He is sound asleep on the floor at my feet. (I took a picture and put it in my picture link thing at the bottom of the entry.) I was hoping he would wait until 11:30 to nap for the day... but he did not make it. Maybe I will be a really mean mommy and wake him up in a moment to see if I can get him to not "really" nap for a bit longer. (*edited at 2 pm due to not being able to immediately post it because of diaryland's major meltdown - he woke up right after I finished typing this, and was REALLY unhappy so I took him to his room... where he complained for a good 20 minutes before finally going back to sleep... though now he is still sleeping.) I have high hopes anyway. To add to the sleepy, cranky baby syndrome, he is also finally getting bottom tooth number 4. I can feel part of its sharp little edge through the gum... so I hope the rest makes it out by tonight. That probably caused the poor little guy to get up so early too.

And I had a ruff morning with my husband. I had noticed recently the spyware program I put on the computer... he has figured out how to turn off. And that just really pisses me off. I had figured I would ignore it.. but for whatever reason this morning I just let lose about it... and he started in with his nonsense crap about how *I* am wrong and it just got ugly. The bottom line is simple: If he had nothing to hide, he would not care what I record. But he takes a self righteous attitude (and gets that eat shit look on his face) about it that frankly, disgusts me. I am just to tired to deal with it right now though, so he will sit there in his overjoyed senseless glory and think he "won"... when he merely just put bricks back up in the wall I have been working so hard to destroy. I hope he is proud of himself.

The cherry on top - he won't even be home for Valentines Day. Not as in he has to work... that I expected... he will not even be in town. His going to the corporate office thing we have known was coming "sometime" in the future... and first off is not just one or two days... it is 4, and he will leave Sunday the 13th, and come back on the 17th. And this does not even bother him. Of course, I guess I should expect it, he has never cared much for Valentine's Day anyway... always spewing the "every day should be Valentine's Day" line at me and it should... but damn it I happen to enjoy it (the one "extra" special day).. and he has never cared about that at all. And never, ever made a big deal about it for me. And it means even more to me now that I have children and he still just doesn't care. The best Valentine's Day he ever gave me was when I was pregnant with my daughter... and well... we know what started happening right after that so I have simply tried to remove it from my memory... I just wanted a "real" Valentine's Day...

Of course he will argue he "has" to go to get his certification and such... and would I rather postpone that, therefore postponing his bonus eligibility which we REALLY need him to have right now... so I am simply screwed.

I am just really tired... and I really feel like shit - mentally and physically run down. So... if anything else "bad" or "drag me down" is going to happen anytime soon... hopefully it can just all happen today to get it the hell out of the way.

Just a quick update, now that I can FINALLY post this entry, I am feeling a bit better than I was earlier today.

Heard in my house: DON'T feed your bottle to the dog!!!

Something Extra:

Feeling: The current mood of lostinmylove at


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